"Sin is a much heavier burden to bear than the cross of Christ."

Hello everyone...this is just a short notice that I probably won't be updating for a little while. =) We moved into our house now (as many of you know=), and it's all going pretty good...except for the minor problem of not having internet there...so my updates might get a little scarce...=)

I'll post pics of the Eicher reunion...and tons of Anika (SHE'S GONNA BE THERE...YES!!!), once we get back...so yeah...till later, everyone!!

~me.

"Not that I am in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him...What reason have we, except our own desperate wishes, to believe that God is, by any standard we can conceive, 'good'?"   C. S. Lewis

I find it strange that C. S. Lewis struggled with this. I have been struggling with it too...when one is persecuted by Christians (or those you thought to be your brethren in Christ...), there is so much injustice involved that it makes you question so many things. Not to worry, I do still believe that God is good...but it's taken me a while to get back here...to the place where I can believe that. God himself had to show me all over again, that he is still good, loving, and HERE.

  "Some say that everything happens for a reason. That everything that happens is God's will. I don't believe that. God never intended for evil desires and acts to run rampant on the earth. But I do believe that he will use even evil things for our good if we trust Him."

That's the conclusion I came to. God allows things. He can even make something beautiful out of us through it...but there are some things that happen that are just too awful for them to be planned by God.

Life is hard, but God is TENDERHEARTED. Life is hard, but God is WISE. Life is hard, but God is FAITHFUL...and so on...he is PRESENT, and yes, he is GOOD.

"This is a long valley. People will give you weeks or months, to 'recover'. Give yourself a year at least. Maybe two. This is a wound God will help you manage. And you will occasionally bleed from it all your life, especially when you hear someone else's hard news. It will open that scar again--not to drag you back, but to move you to care for them."

Yes. It's true.

"Sometimes the pilot of a ship can use a storm to make headway, instead of being wrecked by it."

So it all depends on how you look at it...the choises you make...the road you choose...whether the one most traveled...or the hard road back to recovery...and actually LIVING without your loved ones...

"What is meant to be is such a mystery...And mysteries are not meant to understand...The hardest part of love has got to be...Leaving it in bigger hands...(this one made me think of you, Leeny=)

Michael, can you tell I've been reading and re-reading that book? I think it's what I needed exactly when I needed it...thank you so much for that gift...it has blessed my family...brought tears...healing...and release..

"If I can stop one heart from breaking...I shall not live in vain...If I can ease one life the aching...or cool one pain...or help one fainting Robin...unto his next again...I shall not live in vain." --Emily Dickinson

So this is for those of you who hurt...I'm sorry you are going through this dark valley...we'll make it through...with God...

I love you,

~Beth

"Memory is a country

Where I can go to see your face

But where can I go

When I miss your embrace?"

Ok...my dear friends, prepare yourselves for a long update and lots of pictures! Leeny, I am hoping you like them all...=)

Well, I shall try to do all the pics in an organized fashion, contrary to my usual haphazard-ness.

I went to Michigan for a weekend...and had the time of my LIFE!!! I did not take along my camera, but I got pics from FOUR different photographers, and I shall order them, not according to event,  but according to photographer, so this might be slightly confusing!! =)

CABOB!!!!! =) (the following pics were taken by this young man.=)

I've never seen a moon like that before...it was amazing...

Ok. I really like this one.

Marco peeking around Michael...I love this pic!!

Michael.

Marco and Yolanda.

Reading to Cami...the sweetest little girl ever. She was soooo cute!!

Amy.

The following pics are by CHERYL....=)

I loooove this pic of Gretta and Cheryl...they're both so beautiful!

The tower...they had this amazing swing...very sweet!

Me on the swing!!

Marco chasing the poor sea gulls...I kinda like this pic...=)

Gretta.

  Marco.

beauty...

The following pics are by GRETTA!!!! (gmc) =)

Me looking at the sunset over the lake...it was simply amazing!!

the whole group!!

Which one?

Seriously love the moon...

Briana.

"Lord, give me wisdom to comprehend

why I survive and not my friend

and teach me compassion so I may live,

all my enemies to forgive."     ~Libera

Hello everyone...I am updating on my weekend, which just happened to be very GOOD. =) This might get long...but it won't be boring...simply because I am so entertaining, smart, whitty and cool that nothing I say could ever be boring... Now that I'm through with tooting my own horn, I shall get on with it...oh, and there's one more reason why this is NOT gonna be boring...PICTURES!!! There shall be lots and lots of them...

Went to visit Wayne and Hil...it was so amazingly FUN. There simply is nothing in this world that can replace family.

After her Sunday morning bath...snuggling with Daddy/Papa...I think she calls him "Dapa" sometimes...=)

Us kids...

My amazing bro.

I love this pic of Dar...such an awesome smile.=)

But I like this one too. Cual te gusta, bro?

 My brother, Gerry...was awesome seeing him again...even if it was only for a little while...I miss you!

Ate at this cool Mexican restaurant after church...

Anika was so amazingly FUNNY. She'd ripped out both hair pieces...so her hair was all over, Hil had forgotten her bib, so there was FOOD all over...and then watching her eat these cherries was hysterical. She sucked out everything and left the rest of it there...

Even messy, she's still the cutest girl God ever created!! Note the way her pinkie is up in the air...soooo cute.

There's the left overs...=)

After church the guys stuck with the tradition of kicking a ball around in the parking lot. =)

Anika was soooo sweet...wanting to help them play...

Getting pointers from big "Primo Gerry"...=)

Gerry "handing" her the ball...=)

"Where's the ball, Anika?" ha. There it is!=)

She got it!

La familia Peight. =) Wayne looks proud with his two girls.

me and the guys...

Her I'm-so-happy-my-nose-wrinkles smile...I love it.

Tight squeeeeeze from Gramma...

"I am too old for such things".

I love all her little feminine gestures.

Gerry and I.

Another parking lot...after lunch...feeling squished. =)

I love this one.

And this one...

Oh yea...and this one's my favorite!!

Walking with Tio Willy...

 more...

Following in my footsteps...ha ha...=)

She alternated between pounding and then she'd take only one finger and poke (as in previous pic). =)

Had supper at Kenny's...awesome family!!

Kenny..."looking fatherly" lol.

Beautiful eyes...

The whole family!! =)

Awww...guess who Gramma and Grampa are looking at!! =)

Mi hermano...Willy...

Mi hermano...Ryan...

both looking at this...

 Ok...these have all been random, but it's about to get random-er. =)

Tia Flaca brushing Anika's teeth...

Loves toothpaste...

"Helping out"...I thought she'd be scared of the noisy sweeper, but she walked right up and held it for me...chattering away, probably telling me how it's done...too bad I couldn't understand baby talk. =)

Look who woke me up. =)

Her opinion of getting her hair done...I LOVE this pic...her expression is so perfect!!

the difference...

We went sight-seeing with Wayne, and when Gerry was "agachado" Willy musta seen a perfect opportunity to pick him up so he did!

Taking it one step further...=)

We climbed this awesome tower...the navigator actually looks kinda small from this height...=)

The amazing view...

Hil actually made it all the way up there...she looked slightly frazzled, but hey, she DID IT!! (She hates heights...=)

Ok...so that was even longer than I thought it would be!!

Have a beautiful week!!

~Beth 

COUNT not thy life by gain, but by loss, not by the wine drunk, but by the wine poured forth, for LOVE'S strength standeth in Love's sacrafice, and he who suffers most has MOST to give.   -Jonathan GoForth

     i just discovered why God allows pain and suffering, its because those who suffer most have most to give... it REALLY struck me when i first read that saying... i  look at some of the people in my life who have had incredible pain and they are the most remarkable people, compassionate, and understanding- must be that is why. How can God take the hardest things in our life and somehow turn it into our greatest ministry? Its beyond me...

~Ruby

"Quiero amar...como que si fuera mi ultimo dia de vida..."  ~Beth

I'm feeling sad tonight...which keeps happening pretty often these days. But someone told me that feeling sadness is ok. It's a constructive emotion...whereas anger, bitterness, etc are NOT. I have issues with those feelings too...but I just realized something.

I am chosen. I am called. I am LOVED. When God made me (and as he keeps making me),  he gave/gives me all the things I need to get through what I'm going through. Looking back, if someone would have asked me if I'd have been able to make it through this, I would have gone into a moment of shocked silence, then I would have said, "No. I would go insane...or just die."

I have had my moments!! But I AM still alive...and I keep seeing how awesome God really is. He has called me to...well, he's called me to PAIN. For now, atleast. I feel like I have lost so much...and that I keep losing...that I've been losing people for way too long to remain sane...and now, in one viscious swipe, everything else was ripped away. It's funny, isn't it, how one can look back in time and feel the pain of years before, and realize we thought it couldn't get worse than that back then, and then WHAM it gets worse...and you look into the future (not always a good thing, by the way), and realize it's not over....and that it might (horrible thought!) get even worse.

For a while, I decided (subconsciously) that if I had to lose everyone I ever loved, then I should just stop loving. I mean, REALLY, it is such an easy way out...but it's not nearly as fulfilling, as joyful, as good...as loving people...even knowing that they might die tomorrow...loving them MORE because of that fact.

Love hurts. Ha...yeah, you all know that already...but no, it REALLY HURTS. When you love someone (really love), you open up your heart to that person and give away little chunks of yourself...and if that person rejects you...then WOW...that really hurts...but it hurts too, if they get taken away...because when they're gone, they take bits and pieces of you with them. Sometimes, I think there's so many bits and pieces of me missing that there's no possible way I'll ever be whole again...but God has a way of filling in the missing pieces...and doing it so well, that I sometimes overflow...which is seriously a miracle, all in itself.

I guess living in the present is the only answer. I tried living in the past...have been doing it for the past couple months...maybe even years...and it's mere existance, cuz you're really NOT living! I still can't think of the future...it hurts entirely way too much. Move on? Are you kidding me?! I have enough work just to drag myself out of bed in the morning and try to face another day...I know, it's kinda lame, but when all the joy goes out of life, and pain is all you feel, waking up just isn't as fun as it used to be. Especially if you're not a morning person to begin with.

I've learned some things about God... 1) He's ALWAYS on time (might not be my time, but it always works out perfectly somehow=) 2) He pushes the limits as far as they can possibly be stretched...just when I think I can't take any more, I get hit with another blow, and realize I can after all...or more like, HE can...through me!! 3) He loves me...no, I mean he REALLY loves me! It's still such an unfathomable thought...but he does...and I can't help but loving him back...and trusting him. Sometimes I have to CHOOSE to trust him...despite ugly circumstances that I can't do anything about, but ultimately, I just trust him cuz he deserves it. He's earned my trust...so many times, and there's no way I CAN'T trust him.

One thing that has so amazed me the past few days, is how God has just decided to open up the floodgates of Heaven and bless me with so many friends...a lot of new ones (oh so special to me!!), and some old ones that came back...(I think you know who you are! =). They are so sweet and beautiful. And I do so love all of you...who have meant so much to me through this...loved me through it...cared...and simply BEEN THERE. Thank you. Los amo...de verdad.

Question: Have you ever met someone, and you immidiately felt God inside you kinda give you a jolt, as he recognizes himself in another person? (If that doesn't make sense to you, then it's never happened.) I've gone through most of my life, with it only happening once or twice...I actually think it's cuz I was too angry and bitter to recognize anything but my own pain...sad, I know...but it's been happening so often lately, and I think it's my FAVORITE part in my dreary little life, as is. It's so beautiful...when you see someone that loves God, and they see that you love God too, and you almost instantly love each other...because of GOD!!! I seriously think I've been missing out on one of the most important things in the Christian's life...till just recently...and I don't think it's cuz of different people (well, that might have a little bit of something to do with it after all=), but I think it's mostly because of ME. I can't really say what happened...other than that I found FREEDOM!!...and that I've been through a lot of pain...and that might be part of it too. Pain. It forms a kinship between people that simply can't be found elsewhere...which is sad. Why can't we be born with that kinship...and all the wisdom that comes with pain...without having to go through it? Huh? But I guess it wouldn't mean as much if life were perfect...

Man...I'm seriously rambling. Can't believe I'm gonna push the "save changes" button on this one....put you guys through all that...but then again, you DON'T have to read it!! Won't be a bit offended... I guess it's just part of my learning experience these days...and my thoughts from tonight...all put together, in my jumbled way of expressing myself.

So yes. I don't really know why, but I just randomly decided to post this...because I feel like sharing all this with all of you...even if you don't care that much...ha! If you don't care, you won't have wasted all your time reading this far down the page!! =) To all of you who have made it this far...congratulations! I love you. 

Just me.

"I would rather you hate me for who I am, than love me for who I'm not."

Went to NC this weekend and really had a good time...didn't take many pictures though...I wish so bad I would have now, but I guess I was just too busy enjoying myself...Joy took pics of me...my first "photo shoot" lol...and here are some of the results...

She really really loved my shoes...

Tell me which you like the best, ok?

There she is...sorry it's not the best pic, but it's the only one I've got! She is very talented when it comes to taking pics...and her camera is massive and awesome!

Motz took this one...he told me to look at him and not move. It was kinda funny how he zoomed and took the pic at the same time...looks really hysterical!

Rosie...I missed you...saw you...now I miss you again...it was really good to see you again! Nice helmet! That ride with Ro musta been a blast.  

Katie...so beautiful.

Sat around the fire till four...this pic holds some major significance for me...but I won't go into that at the moment...=)

ANIKA!!!!!!!!! It was so good to see my precious little princess again...and I soaked up every minute I could get in with her...she keeps surprising me with her intelligence and how she manages to only grow cuter and cuter with time...

"How old are you, Anika?"

Pointing something out for me...and talking away in a language only she can understand...=)

Love the sky...love the smile...

Cool colors, sweet, dimpled little hand.

She loved swinging with tia flaca...=)

Awesome sunset I caught...I kinda like that hay thingie there...

Change of subject here...

My brothers playing soccer...two of the most wonderful men in my life...thanks, Padre, for my brothers.

Willy looking a bit more long-legged than usual...I had to lie down in the grass to get this!=)

Midnight (literally) snack with the guys...you can tell it's a garage, huh? =)

Willy's drink...loves Mountain Dew...

Jolene found "Little Buddy" in the field...and he really is the smallest little thing I've ever seen! I had no idea deer could be that tiny, or that sweet and cute. He's not scared of people anymore and will walk right up to you and touch your nose to say hi. =)

He's so tiny he makes my hand look big!!

Well, que Dios les bendiga...I shall now go to bed...I happen to be very tired...it might have something to do with the late nights lately...=)

Goodnight!

~Beth

edit: the "he" is a she...and her name in now Faline (after Bambi's girlfriend=)

There are only TWO ways to live one's life... One, as tho  N O T H I N G  is a MIRACLE... the other, as tho
E V E R Y T H I N G  is a miracle.

have any of you ever really LOOKED at a sunrise? or watched the stars at night and thought about how big they are and how much bigger the BREATHER of those stars is? Have you ever LOOKED at the moon on a clear night when it is full? or at a rainbow right after the rains? have any of you ever really taken the chance to love the little things in life? Or just to love life in general> in the middle of all the pain? all the questions? all the unfairness and broken trust> all the confusion> Have any of you ever thought about every breath that you take and realized that it is controlled by God? --it's a MIRACLE!    ~Ruby

And now...I shall give you a few things that make life bearable. =) "The little things in life!"...

No skies can compare to Honduras (no offense=), but the skies here are almost as blue...ALMOST.

CEREAL. I love it...we only ever had Corn Flakes down there, so yeah, Lucky Charms, LIFE, and just about everything!!!

Ok...this probably looks confusing, but I've discovered the perfect snack. It's one of Stacie's recipes.  It's extremely delicious...all together.

In case you don't know what this is, it's my Bible and journal...both very important to me!!!

Ok, this is NOT what you're thinking!!! This is a CREAM SODA. They've become my replacement for pepsi...isn't quite as good, but it's fizzy, tastes good, and comes from a glass bottle.

The pool!!!

They've got the friendliest cats. Didn't get a pic of the other one, but I promise she looks like she got caught in lawn-mower! Jolene decided she needed a haircut. It's hysterical. She's a long-haired cat, and yeah... I'm sure you can picture it.

freshly mowed GREEN grass!!!

Ok. Change of subject!! There was a prom the other night and Brandon and Jolene really dressed up pretty. =)

finishing touches...

My handsome cousin. (note the doily I'm crocheting in the corner there. =)

Gorgeousness runs in the family...=)

He got tired of me taking pics so he finished off with a cheesey grin. =)

I told you gorgeousness runs in the family! (Seriously loved the hat).

Ok...that's it.

~Beth

We all have some evil swimming under the surface. We have all spit on the face of our Creator. Thinking that we have not, is self-righteous arrogance--which is itself a form of spitting.               ~~Ted Dekker

TRAMPOLINE HAIR!!!!!

Isn't she totally cute?

Ok. So I was bored the other day and went wild taking pics of my dad's roses he gave to my mom....then I had even more fun editing them! 

I found out that if you put a paper over the flash it "distributes the light" and makes for an awsome pic! (this is Motz's idea. =)

My favorite.

more editing fun!=)

Ok..peace out, mi gente!

~Beth 

"Why men seek fame I cannot see, 'tis but a call, 'come feed on me'. "

~Quillan 

Ok, so here are some random pics...got some favorites...

JD...my heart is breaking for you...nunca olvides que te quiero con todo el corazón...

(Galen, you recognize that dog tag??=)

My favorite spot in the world (or atleast of all the places I've been!) 

Love the sky in this pic...

Beauty... (courtesy of Cabob...=)

Tegus...this pic is so HONDURAN...I love it.

Miss ya, Chris...

The results of a fun night on the hill...my pitiful attempts at grafitti. Ha!

Well, we've been up here for a month now--yesterday.  I don't think it's sunk in yet...I really can't believe this has actually happened to me...it seems impossible.

Then again, I suppose worse things have happened to people in the course of history...than just having your family ripped apart. I've decided that I'll be ok..."that I'll wake up every morning...force myself to breathe in and out all day long..." and I'll hold on to God with everything in me. He'll make it allright even if it doesn't feel like it all the time. But sometimes I think there MUST be a limit somewhere...but I know God promised never to give me more than I can bear...seems it gets really close to being too much at times, though! The blows don't seem to stop...even after you think they're done beating us up.

~Peace~

--Beth