July 6, 2007

•                           Every word, every breath

                            Every action, every step

                     All for the glory, the glory of God.    –Dallas Holm          

    I’m being held at gunpoint to update here, so I’d better get going!  

    Hey, I think this is actually gonna be pretty long…hope you guys don’t get too bored. I got some pics later, but I have some things I need to say. I’ve been going through this really hard time lately. I was talking with a friend, and she was talking about family…(before I get into this…I need to admit that I’m gonna try to do the whole thing without mentioning any names and also without going into too much detail…life is funny). Anyway, this friend of mine was talking about family, and she said that she could take people talking bad about her, but she couldn’t stand when people talked bad about her family. This is also true for me. But I must admit that I might have taken it a little far. See, I figured if I was the one sticking up for someone else, it couldn’t be wrong, right? Cuz they weren’t the one defending themselves. But I was wrong. I was taking sides and actually writing people off and judging them and almost hating them if they said anything against the people I love. I became bitter and angry, and a lot of other unsavory things. I’ve repented and I’m still trying to change. It’s hard, though! Once you start thinking a certain way, it gets hard to dig a new rut in which to pattern your thinking. I have to keep in mind that the bad guys are not people. It’s Satan! He’s the one that plants seeds of discord between people that are normally wonderful and kind, and he ruins so many lives and I have decided that I’m not gonna be one of his victims!  I still think it’s wrong to let people talk bad about your friends and family…it kinda demonstrates a lack of backbone–(otherwise known by the delightful name of “gumption”), and I won’t become one of those people that dives right into a conversation where they’re slandering someone, and starts piling on other tidbits to make it worse. People like that are awful. So I won’t do that. I just wanna walk the middle line where I won’t talk bad about ANYONE! Cuz see, to defend somone, you’re usually talking bad about someone else in the process. So if people talk bad about the people I love, I will simply walk away…or maybe just tell them to shut up until they get all the facts. Sound like a good idea?    

    I guess what I’m talking about here is gossip (it just hit me!), and it really is an evil thing. And while I hate it so much, it’s hard to not become one of them. It’s like you hate gossiping so much, and then you start talking bad about the people who gossip, and you don’t even realize it but you’re becoming one of them too!! That’s what I was doing. It’s really scarey. I need to keep in perspective that this is a spiritual battle, not a battle between me and anyone else. It’s even worse when the people who’re gossiping are Christians, because we’re the light of the world, and if they’re watching (they always watch more when you’re doing wrong, by the way), they see what you’re portraying. By that, they either want what you have…or they get so badly turned off that it makes us make Jesus look bad. Isn’t that the most scarey thought ever? JESUS–the one who died for us…suffered so much for us Christians, and he asks only one thing–that we be a light for the ones left in darkness, and instead of being so grateful that we pledge the rest of our lives to him and whatever he wants us to do, we get so caught up in our little struggles of lust and SIN that we forget what we’re here for, and become a bad example not only for other Christians but even for the world as well. The whole concept of gossip so totally kills all remnants of loyalty and love. Even if you’re talking about someone you don’t even love…much more reason you shouldn’t do it. I really struggle with the whole thing. I hate it so much, and to find it in myself is so horrifying! I need so much change in my life. I NEED Jesus. He’ll fix it all…it just might take a while. I love him so much for the patience he has with me. I mean, you’d think that after dying for us, he’d lean back, cross his arms, and tell us to go for it…and then not help us when we fall on our faces, but he’s so awsome! He’s so patient and merciful, and so full of LOVE!!! Wow.    

    So! Enough of my ramblings…I got a little long-winded there, sorry ’bout that folks! Hope I can make up for it with a few pics.

  

    Oscar and Willy are here. I’m so HAPPY!!! I missed them all so much, and to have them here makes up for so much of the pain of missing everyone. They bring along a taste of Honduras! These are my brothers–and they love Anika of course…who could help it?

  

    Here are some more of Anika. I keep loving her more every time I see her. She had just woken up from a nap and I had the honor of babysitting, so I got to talk to her for hours. She seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. She smiled and giggled, wrinkled her nose at me, and cooed to her heart’s content. I really think she was talking to me, and if I woulda been only a LITTLE smarter or wiser, I would have understood every word. She is so sweet. When she’s really ecstatic about something she almost goes cross-eyed. I think it’s sooooo cute!!!

                            

  • 8:06 pm
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