July 13, 2011

• Joy Complete

  God has been filling me with joy recently (obviously hehe)…and lately, I’ve come upon some little revelations I suddenly feel like sharing.

   

  I looked up a verse the other day. It was John 15:11. It says, “These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you and that your joy might be full.” The word “joy” has become special to me lately, and so reading that made me smile delightedly and it reconfirmed my suspicion that God wants to FILL us with Joy. Not just happiness. Or perfect circumstances. I think sometimes that Perfect Circumstances would be cheating us of so many good things. So God lets bad things happen…pain, disappointment, wounds…but He heals us. Makes us whole. And gives us Joy. Anyway, I read that verse, but thought, “These things…what things?” so I went back and read the beginning of that chapter. It’s the vine and branches allegory and it just really HIT me. Abiding in Jesus…all the time. Letting him kind of Live through and in us is what gives us JOY! I look around at my hurting friends and sometimes I wish I could just pick them up and physically carry them into God’s arms so they can be made whole and so he can give them Joy. But I’ve come to realize it’s a journey we all have to walk on our own. I might be able to pray for them and kind of hold their hand, but they have to be the ones to put one foot in front of the other and choose to walk towards God…and sometimes that’s hard. Because there are Doubts. And because Satan does NOT want us to get there. He does everything in his power to make it seem impossible.

   

  Over the past few years (since I turned 17 or so), Life has felt like one blow after another. The times between wounds were simply periods of recovery and some healing. Whenever things got happy, I’d start bracing myself for the next horror. Which might not be the best way to live life. But I’m on my fifth month of Absolute Happiness now, and although I doubted it horribly at first, and was almost positive it was all too good to be true, I’m Living it to the fullest. Five months! That’s almost half a year. (*pauses to thank God*) I know life isn’t about happiness. It’s deeper than that. We shouldn’t pursue it like some final goal. And God has taught me so much through the painful times. So much, in fact, that I was scared I’d waste this happy time, and he’d have to bring pain again quickly to get me back on track. So I prayed a sort of weird-ish prayer. I asked God to help me make the most of this time in my life. To learn as much as was possible and grow closer to Him. And I think he’s answering that prayer. He’s showing me how he doesn’t waste anything. Even comforting us has more of a purpose than just making us feel good. The sermon last Sunday was incredible…and one of the verses he read was 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” I could feel my eyes widening as he read it. I’ve always felt a little insulted when I’m in pain and someone says consolingly, “Well, you’ll really be able to help other people who’re going through something like this someday…” I’ve wanted to say, “Yea, but right now, it’s about ME!” hehe Confession of selfishness. Now I feel like the pain was doing far more in me than it could ever help anyone else. I’m not sure if that’s right or not, but I think God’s main goal in allowing pain into our lives is for our relationship with Him. To deepen our faith in Him, to broaden us…and to teach us lessons we couldn’t understand otherwise. Being able to help other people is a very good side effect. But then the way he comforts us…THAT is for the benefit of other people. Isn’t that amazing? And not just when they’re going through the same kind of pain we’ve faced. But when they face ANY trouble! It’s not about the pain anymore, really. It’s about God’s comfort.  It made me happy for some reason. And there’s also that promise there of God comforting us in “all our tribulation.” Not just some of what we go through, but ALL of it. Some translations say affliction instead of tribulation, and Mr. Byler defined affliction as, “Affliction is life in a world that’s messed up. With people who are in pieces. It’s the pain, the agony, the travail that comes from living in a fallen world.” We all face that, I think. Which means we’re all wounded in one way or another. It’s part of living. But we have a God who makes whole…who heals…and who wants to fill us with Joy. I’m convinced that the only thing that keeps us from all being completely FULL of joy (regardless of circumstances) is our inability to let God in. And all the things we use as replacements for him. Self-pity being the first that comes to mind. You can’t learn anything when you’re pitying yourself. You can’t grow. I’m convinced it’s one of the biggest traps Satan ever came up with. It starts a cycle of doing the same wrong thing over and over and suffering more and more while offering no solution whatsoever; robs us of any possibility of Joy or being able to even connect with God. Plus it’s ungrateful. You can’t praise God when you’re feeling sorry for yourself. Nor can you admit you’ve done something wrong. And yet, I’ve caught myself doing it many times. There’s something so miserably satisfying about it. Singing “I’ll Praise You in This Storm” very loudly helped me with that once. If you make a choice to praise God…to thank him…even for the things you’re not quite thankful for, it’s a Huge Deal, I think. It changes your attitude, but beyond that, it somehow opens a door for Faith. If you thank God for ugly circumstances in your life because you know he has a good purpose in it, I have this feeling he smiles quite delightedly and thinks, “You’ll see what I’ll do with this…and you’ll love me for it. I’ll shock you with the JOY I have in store for you!” I’m pretty sure there’s nothing more pleasing to him than our thanks. And obedience, too, of course. But have you ever thought how easy it is to say “Thank you,” ? It still blows me away that this is all God requires in return for ALL the ways he blesses us. But really, that’s how it is. The natural relationship between God and man is Him giving and us receiving with thanks. We can’t hope to deserve the things he gives…or somehow earn them. But receiving with thanks pleases him. I’ve been thanking him for specific things lately…I’ve numbered them out in the little notebook Yolanda gave me that I’d thought was too sacred to ever really use…but this is perfect for it. I’m on number 478, and after a while of writing out things I love, I read over it all and instead of being a list of things I’m grateful for, it starts looking more and more like a list of ways in which God loves me. And the Joy is more than I can contain. The idea to list my happy things came from the book, “A Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp. I happened to read it at the perfect time in my life and it’s completely changed my outlook and even my relationship with God. I’d recommend it to anyone.

  Here’s another Joy verse: “Thou wilt show me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of Joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.” -Psalm 16:11 (it’s my favorite verse right now:)

   Speaking of things I’m thankful for, the Man below is my favorite.

  

  Okay I’m going to stop rambling now.

  Goodnight.

  • 10:10 pm
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